Thursday, 15th July , 2021 – 15.50

I have always found it difficult to come to terms with death, why we have to come on earth for a period of time and then go away.

I struggle with my curiosity on what happens after death, the first few hours, days and even years after. My mind imagines what goes on in the grave and if our loved ones can actually see and hear us when we come to visit them.

The first real experience I had of loosing a loved one was the death of my father- in- law in February 2020, just at the start of the pandemic (May Allah bless him). The pain felt easier on my heart than I expected but to be honest I do not know if I have fully processed his passing. The reality that I will never see him again is strange but I am grateful that whenever I think of him I envision a star shooting through the skies and my heart experiences a flutter whenever his thought crosses my mind. I don’t know if there is a day that goes by that I do not remember him and say a little prayer for him. 

Why am I writing about death today? Sigh. Five days ago, news about the death of popular singer Abdul-Ganiu Olarenwaju Fasasi aka Sound Sultan broke out; like my dearest father-in-law, he died of cancer. I remember my eyes popping out when I saw the news on a WhatsApp group that I am in. The next feeling I felt was confusion, like how can he be dead?

Of course, sadness followed. This wasn’t surprising to me as usual me would feel sad even if it was enemy that passed on. What surprised me though, was the fact that over the next couple of days I actually grieved him, I cried and mourned him as if he was a close friend. I grieved for a man I never knew personally or even kept up with over the years. To put some context, I got to know his real name for the first time on his obituary notice and that he was also a Muslim like me. This is the extent to which I didn’t know much about him. There are songs I know, that I never knew he was the one who sang them (p.s: if you live in Nigeria you will know songs without actively listening to them :D) 

Let’s come back to the question. Why then am I grieving for this man who I only knew from a distance? Was it the outpour of tributes from people? Was it the fact that he was Muslim? Was it the fact that I really loved his song ‘Mathematics’ as a child? Was it because he had big beautiful eyes like me? 

I pondered this for a while and then it finally hit me, it was the fact that he embodied in character what I want to be myself!!I am an encourager and he, was for sure an encourager! Going through his Instagram page showed a selfless person who truly cared about and uplifted others. I mean, most of his posts were either about shouting out a colleague/ loved one, promoting their business or sharing hearty felicitations with them.

He was widely loved by all and I have no doubt it was due to his likeable personality. From what I saw and the tributes written about him, I could tell that he was a kind and genuine person who knew himself. He stuck to his values, utilised his talents and gifts to the best of his ability; both for himself and to benefit others. This is what I am working towards so I understand now, how I can grieve for someone who lived that.

Another value he had was building close relationships and giving his love, time and energy to them. He was a lover that loved fully, no holds barred. That!, is who I want to be in my relationships.I loved the fact that according to people, he loved and had an unshakable faith in God. Faith (Iman) is a quality that is dear to me and I keep working on strengthening. I respected the fact that even with his strong presence in the music industry, he was able to uphold the tenets of his religion; which by the way is not an easy feat.

He was passionate about Nigeria and most importantly about governance, justice and equality. As an idealist who has hope that my country will be better and a strong value entrenched in justice , there is no surprise here why I liked him and his songs like Mathematics and Ole that I fondly remember. His songs remind me of happy days in my childhood. As an eight year old, I remember standing in the parlour watching ‘Mathematics’ on the TV, singing and dancing along to it with so much conviction that indeed BODMAS is what we need in Nigeria. I mourn him because as an adult I mourn my childhood which he was a part of.

I watched his burial on YouTube and seeing his wife cry sent me into my own world of fear. Over the years, I have come to know that one of my greatest fears is losing a loved one – as a child that was usually my dad and I still hold that fear in my heart till this day.  It was as if, I could feel what she was going through. The denial, the helplessness, the confusion and the pain of losing not just anyone but your long time lover and the father of your children.

Sound Sultan, your death has ticked something in me, I don’t know exactly what it is but I say thank you. Thank you for inspiring and showing me that who I strive to be is attainable. Seeing how you lived, I just want to run in the rain like a child with no worries. I want to live fully, love freely, share my gifts with the world and die empty really. Ina lilahi wa ina ilayhi rajiun ( Verily, to Allah we belong and to him we shall return). I pray that Allah Subhanallah wa ta’ala forgives your sins and grants you Al-jannah firdaous. I also pray Allah comforts your wife and young family. Ameen.

For the rest of us, everyday we get closer to our death. Would we live to see the next hour? the next day or even next year? Only Allah knows. What would you do differently henceforth?
I pray he takes us back to him if and only when he is truly pleased with us. Ameen 

P.s: BODMAS stands for Brotherhood, Objectivity, Democracy, Modification, Accountability and Solidarity.

Till next time,
Live purposefully!

Sekinat
xx